First Love [ 第一次爱]

[不指定 07/08/28 20:50 | by admin ]
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      She was my first and foolish love. In the half-light of the morning I lay awake waiting for her quiet, almost silent feet to come down the hallway, for her scent—a curious mixture of honey and peach—to part the thick air outside my room filled with the lonely smells of young men living away from home. She would pause outside my door for a moment to put on her slippers before climbing the two steps down into the kitchen, and my foolish imagination would swell with the shadowy silhouette of her lingering by my door, a phantom more real than anything I could have seen with my open eyes. Every morning, every morning, I waited like that, for the circles of azure and gold and auburn to gather like clouds inside my closed eyelids as I felt her steps down the hallway over my body, and for the clouds to burst suddenly and reveal her large and limpid eyes framed with demure lashes, the ghost of a smile on her bud-like lips. Stretching out my arms toward the naked light bulb, my eyes still closed, I would cry out love and agony, muted by my blanket—I love you more than you will ever know, your image will be a fever that will last a lifetime in my brain, your name a poem heard deep, deep inside my ears, and I will tremble with tenderness and desire fro you at a mere imagined touch of your hand, always.


是我荒谬初恋的女主角。在晨曦的微光中,我醒来躺着,等待着她那近乎无声的脚步下到门厅,等待着她那蜂蜜和蜜桃混合的一种说不清的气味,来冲淡游子屋外满满的浓厚的孤寂气息。她会在门外停留片刻,换了拖鞋,然后再走下两级台阶到厨房。那刻,我的荒谬的想象中便涨满了她在门外徘徊的侧影,再真实不过的幻影,比我睁眼所见的一切更真实。每一个清晨,每一个清晨,我便那样守侯着,守侯着赤橙黄绿的光晕像云朵似地聚拢在我紧闭的双睑,那时,就似她下到门厅,从我身上走过,那些云朵突然间散开,露出了她那大大的清澈的带着腼腆睫毛的眼,蓓蕾般的双唇一抹笑意依稀可见,我的双眼仍紧闭着,向着裸露着的白炽灯,我张开双臂,大声说出我的爱我的痛苦:你不知我有多爱你,你的倩影将是我脑中持续一生的兴奋点,你的名字就像一首沁入我耳的诗,仅仅想象轻触你的手,我便会轻轻地颤抖。所有这些声音都被毛毯捂住。
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